I know this is completely random, but whenever I see commercials for hospitals I get a little envious. During my last pregnancy I LOVED the hospital. It was a refuge for me. A place to relax and be taken care of. A place where I was no longer in pain. IV's pumping me with fluids and nausea medicine became my best friend. I'm telling you ... I fell in love with hospitals.
This pregnancy is slightly different. Because my dr. has been on top of things I have not needed to visit the hospital. Does this mean I'm not nauseated and everyday isn't a struggle? Heck no! The nausea is still persistent ... my vomiting and dehydration is just controlled. I literally dream of the hospital. I dream of being taken care of and having fluids and medication that allow me to eat the disgusting yet delicious hospital food. But what's the cost of having my Hyperemesis controlled this time around? A LOT. Not only am I on a handful of medications that I have to pay for, but the all-powerful zofran pump attached to my stomach is costing our family close to $9,000 out of pocket. And that's WITH amazing insurance! Where is that $9,000+ going to come from? Good question! We're relying that God will provide. But for many families without "good" insurance, or even insurance at all, these medication choices are much more limited.
This got me thinking ... how amazing would it be to have a Hyperemesis hospital (or rehab-type center)? There's research hospitals out there for so many illnesses like cancer, heart problems, etc. So why not Hyperemesis? It would be amazing ... heck, a miracle ... to have a place for women like myself to go when battling through the days, weeks and months with this horrible illness. To have round-the-clock care, snacks and meals prepared and delivered to our room, medication available to control the nausea and vomiting. It wouldn't matter where you were from or what kind of insurance you had, this would be a place of research and a place of refuge! Not only this, but it would be a place for fellowship. I know fellowship sounds like such a strange word to use for women going through the trials of Hyperemesis, but trust me, when you are going through this particular valley you feel especially alone. Hyperemesis isolates you. It's debilitating, painful & emotional. And to top it off, only a small percentage of the women in the world suffer through the months of hell. This makes you feel even more isolated. To be surrounded by women who have the same pain, fear, hopes, as myself would be incredible. To have someone to TALK to who UNDERSTANDS would be incredible. Rather I read 2 & 3 year old forums of faceless women expressing the same emotions I feel daily. I honestly believe a place like this would result in healthier, happier mommies, not only physically, but mentally. I believe it would result in women who are in pain, but not necessarily suffering. I believe it would help empower women to survive the long days, weeks and months rather then giving up and aborting, just to later regret their decision and wish they were stronger. Every Hyperemesis mommy has those thoughts. They haunt you day and night and the temptation is strong. To have a community to take care of you and support you would hopefully ease those thoughts.
Maybe one day this place will exist. Trust me when I say it would be welcomed with open arms. Our little haven. Until then, I will wish and hope and fight another day.
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