Well, here we go ... Hyperemesis ... Round 2.
Yes, this means I am pregnant once again. After lots of prayers and hope I was under the belief that I would have a healthy, easy pregnancy the second time around. Under this belief my husband and I started talking about having our second baby, as we knew we wanted our kids to be close in age. Just a few days before Thanksgiving I had a feeling that something was going on. So to the drug store I went and bought 3 different types of pregnancy tests. Three positives later it was official ... I am pregnant. The day I found out and several days after I was terrified. There was no excitement, just fear. After about a week without getting sick I thought to myself "Thank Goodness! I am going to have my good pregnancy!" I even went to interview a new midwife and talked to her about having a VBAC. The day after I went to my midwife appointment I started to feel a similar lingering nausea. Oh no ... this can't be!
Sure enough after a few days of nausea and barely being able to get off the couch I started conceding to the fact that I may be enduring another pregnancy with Hyperemesis. I quickly called my previous Dr, as he knows my medical history and would be able to tackle the nausea much quicker then a new midwife. That appointment was a whirlwind. I had a sonogram and my due date was changed (which means I found out I was pregnant at only about 3 weeks along.) Then my Dr. quickly prescribed me some nausea medicine and instantly called Alere Home Health to get me started on a Zofran pump. Two days ago I had the Alere nurse back in my home reminding me how to stick the needle in my stomach so I could get the medicine in my system 24/7. This time they started my dose at .5 ml/h ... stronger then last time, but still not strong enough. Immediately after the nurse left my house I broke down and started crying (something that has become quite normal in my world).
I can't believe I'm here again. I can't believe I'm relying on medicine to keep me and this baby alive. I can't believe I'm sticking myself in the stomach with needles daily and waking up in the middle of the night to change my medicine syringes. I can't believe I have constant nausea to the point where I can barely get off the couch. And this time its worse. No, I'm not throwing up 20 times a day this time. Thankfully we caught this nightmare and stated treating it early. But the debilitating nausea is still here ... and this time there's a precious 16 month old in the equation. A little girl so full of life and joy that doesn't understand why it's so hard for mommy to get up and give her breakfast or why mommy can't play with her when just over a week ago I was chasing her and cuddling her. She can be right next to me and I miss her so much because I can't hold her like I was able to just over a week ago.
I don't want to do this again. I don't want to go through this nightmare again. Please be praying with me, whoever you are. Please pray for healing ... it's my only hope at this moment.
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